hotness

Being hot is like my winter. I want to stay inside and hide from the heat. Yesterday and today Eva and I have spent our first days inside all day since... the hospital (and maybe the few days after that too). It's meant being more creative with our time since we can't rely on the natural entertainment of trees, bushes, and friendly strangers.

Sometimes Eva watches me cook and I explain it to her. I keep telling her that she's going to grow up to be an amazing cook. This is what I think they call brainwashing because both Donovan and I hate cooking and secretly hope that Eva wants to take over, say, in three or four years? :) Sometimes we also Skype family and chat which is always fun.

What do you do on long days inside?

coincidence?

I was needing to get out with Eva the other day so we walked to our local coffee shop and she fell asleep in the carrier, bonus! So I read some local news and enjoyed the "ooooh, look at that baaaaby!" comments from friendly folks. Then a great coincidence happened. A brand new mommy (5 day old baby in tow) and another new mommy walked around the corner together. They both said hi to me too and we all started chatting. Turns out new mommy, Sierra, was out for the first time and her dad was in town. And semi-new mommy, Heather, and her two and a half month old baby were on their way to an appointment, only 1.5 hours late! Being a mommy is hard sometimes. But they had just met each other moments before and then they bumped into me. Coincidence? I think not.

We exchanged emails and phone numbers and off Heather went. We decided we would meet another time to talk more. Then last week I emailed them all. We are getting together this morning at my favorite neighborhood coffee shop (yes!) and chatting about babies and such (double yes!). We even are considering doing a babysitting swap so we can all have free babysitting sometime. Score!

screaming

Have you ever sat with a colicky baby and felt powerless to help them? They cry uncontrollably and there is nothing you can do. Oh, it is so sad for all! Have you ever been stuck in traffic and wished and hoped the light would turn green? Me too!

Eva HATES the car.

I know, I know. You have visions of infants being lulled to sleep by the motor and parents gaily driving around town with a baby knocked out in the backseat. That is not so. I guess Eva is a social person. So the idea of riding in the backseat without a friendly face is her worst nightmare. And she will go on and on for 30 minutes at full scream power to let you know it.

Today this came to a head because I was stuck in construction traffic so the short jaunt from Berkeley to home took about 30 minutes. 30 minutes from my worst nightmare! Eva screamed the whole way.

At first things were quite calm and collected. I said things like, oh, I know, baby! I leaned back and touched her forehead. I tried rolling down the window for entertainment. Then I turned on some music to soothe her (or drown her out, I'm not sure). Then things got a bit more intense...

After 20 minutes of screaming I usually start sweating. The hormones that rush through your body when your infant is screaming in sadness/pain make you sweat and your heart race. People tell me it's a good thing to have these hormones, but my body says, EEEEKK, stop the screaming, now! I resorted to running orange lights, attempting to put something in her mouth to chew on (she's teething), tapping loudly on my steering wheeling, begging in a loud/mad voice for her to stop, and eventually plugging my ears and humming loudly.

So if you see a crazy mom in a minivan running lights, be kind. Or if you stop at a light and from the rearview mirror you can see the parent in the car behind you is going crazy, remember this blog post. It's a crazy, crazy experience.

Eva's now sleeping off the screaming tantrum. It feels all perfect and peaceful now. But in those moments, wow, I feel pretty crazy!

Hee Jung

Our friend Hee Jung came for a visit last weekend. It was SO fun. We went to an AMAZING Korean restaurant. I'm a bit scared because it was so good and so close to our house. I want to go there daily! It is such satisfying food. And the courses are so well planned out. I love it! When can we go again?!

We did some local things with Hee Jung nuna (a term I recently learned, meaning older sister). We went to Lake Merritt and took a stroll. We went to my favorite coffee shop and talked espresso. I love that Hee Jung knows about shot times and the effects of different brewing on overall taste. We had two rounds, I won't lie :) We also toured the Cal campus and walked around Tildon Regional Park, my favorite! It's so beautiful there! It sounds busy but it was somehow soul filling and relaxing just to be together and to talk and to really be heard. I have a special place in my heart for my colleagues from Fuller. Especially my soul friend, Hee Jung! Thanks for coming to visit me, I know it's a long drive!

i think i'm falling in love...

Oakland has this amazing coastal air. The mornings are cool and the afternoons are bright and beautiful. Little old men, hipsters, and mommies alike gather in one of seven coffee shops within walking distance of our place to converse each morning, and yes, you can often get a pretty amazing breakfast at these places as well which is not as gross as it sounds to a Portlander. There are several hidden "sanctuary" spots although I will not name for both the person who reads my blog and is not in Oakland and to keep the local secret a ... secret! People are super friendly, especially when we go to the Rose Garden and see families in our neighborhood meeting and chatting. Plus we one of our neighbors is this great little home for the disabled and there is always plenty of activity there throughout the day with people saying HI or BYE as we stroll along. There are magical trees in our neighborhood. I don't know what they're called nor have I ever seen them in the Northwest, but they are stunning, and when the light comes through them it's a spiritual experience. And when I am really seeking quietness and a holy place I go to the Mountain View Cemetery for a stroll (it's like a giant park) and listen to the silence. I really needed some of this space to think when I was in grad school and ended up seeking therapy for a while only to find out that my brain was really overstimulated while living in LA and space was exactly what I needed to cure it. The space to just be. And imagine. And when I'm in that place I naturally pray. Which is funny because I wouldn't say that's always the easiest thing for me. I do miss my family so much. But I went to one of these quiet spots today. And when I came home I skyped with my parents-in-law. I think I might be falling in love. With Oakland!

new eats

I heard from some research that I did on the internet that babies who are breastfed can have sensitivities to the same foods as mom and dad. I was curious about this and talked to some of my friends with breastfed babies who had food sensitivities. I also talked to my pediatrician who basically said there's no research on it but he's only heard antidotes (with a look on his face like, "you're crazy"). I guess he didn't read this article. I still like him though, I just feel bad for US doctors who get no background in natural health. It could really help them and their patients! Anyway, I digress.

After spending the time talking to these people and reading up on my own as well as watching Eva's spitting up and eating habits I came to the conclusion: Eva is sensitive to tree nuts and dairy. I know this sounds crazy, but Donovan had nothing but an almond butter sandwich the other day and he heaved like no one's business until it was all expelled from his stomach. We don't usually have almond butter (this was at a friend's) so this had never happened before. But he does try to talk after eating nuts and often chokes on his words. So it's slight. But we just figured that out this month too. And of course I'm allergic to dairy... sigh. I hate it but it's true. And it's even more true now then before unfortunately. So the whole theory on what we're allergic to, she is having a hard time digesting early in her life makes sense. Sorry Eva, our genes are crap. No ice cream or trail mix for you (Note: this is just a joke. Eva is very likely only "sensitive" and not allergic, which means she will very likely be able to have those foods when she is on solids and it is appropriate for her to be eating them, ie. later in childhood).

So this all started when I was in Portland I ate a handful of almonds on an empty stomach before a big breastfeeding meal for Eva one evening and she had the most explosive and painful throw up I had ever seen. That was the day that I started to realize something was really wrong and started asking questions.

Unfortunately there is some ambiguity whether or not coconut falls into the tree nut allergy realm. The FDA has recently switched opinions on it, saying it is a part of the tree nut allergen foods, but there are only about 10 total documented cases of coconut allergies. This is only the beginning of the madness to finding foods I can eat. Last night I went to the restaurant 30 minutes early before meeting friends to read the menu and talk to a nice waitress who helped me find something dairy (butter, milk, cheese, milk derivatives) free AND nut free. Boy, I felt crazy! Even in Berkeley oddly enough.

My one sad thing in this all is that the US has really poor regulations on milk in foods and you have to basically completely change your lifestyle, like always cook from scratch and never eat a processed grocery food item and never eat out. Well, I'm not that extreme. The alternative is memorizing or always having with you a long list of words that don't always look like "milk" but basically mean... milk. Why can't we just have some kind of marker on our foods/drinks at the store, like "L" for lactose free. And really mean it! Because I recently found out that "dairy free" powder (the kind used in coffee at church and as a base for bubble milk teas) actually has a milk derivative in it, and yes, it makes Eva and me very, very sick. So PLEASE at the least, don't do fake "milk free" advertising! But in the UK and many other developed countries they are much better at this than the States. Makes me think the milk companies have something they're hiding!

In addition to this there is a long list of foods that are just generally not recommended for breastfeeding moms. Coffee being the most notable on the list. And broccoli. I really love broccoli.

But if you could just see her face when she is eating and it is good milk, you would know why I think that this is totally worth it!

skype

Skype has been so great! Eva met Grandma Terri for the first time on Skype and we have had several talks with her since then as well. Tonight we talked with Donovan's parents and grandparents (Oma and Opa) and they got to see Eva again, I think this is our third time talking with the four of them. While we are sad we can't be with family in Oregon (especially during these beautiful sunny days in the NW) we are so glad for Skype. We have talked with several others as well: Aunt Amy, Aunt Melissa and Uncle Scott, Eva's Great Grandma Ramona and Eva's Great Great Aunt and Uncle Bailey. I loved the reaction we got out of the eldest generation about Skype! Molly thought that it was too expensive and didn't want to say anything as to not be a burden. You should have seen how excited she was when she heard it was free and could see Eva! This is one of those times that you get the feeling that your child is growing up in a world much different than yours!